Writers are a
strange weird breed unto themselves.
I spent an hour reading and un-privatizing some posts from 2007 on Saturday. Just a few for now. And don’t ask me why. It just felt like something I wanted to do, and I plan on doing more as the mood strikes.
2007. Where has the time gone? This blog used to be called The Wild Pomegranate. I changed it last summer when I thought to redirect the subject of my posts. Funny thing is, that didn’t last long. I keep defaulting to my Self. Go figure.
But Thank the BlogGods my days of deleting entire blogs on a whim (usually triggered by some emotional or spiritual melt down) are over. I remember two of them – one, “Phoenix Rising” and another, “The 13 Graces”. I had some really good stuff on those pages, too, dammit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve kicked my own ass for “purging” like that.
Now if I’m not feeling it for some reason, I just go private and stop blogging for a while, or start-up a new blog. (Don’t tell WordPress but I have at least 2 dozen in the queue.)
C’est la vie. Guess you can teach an old blog-dog new tricks after all.
There’s something vastly appealing about a starting new blog, or a new page in a journal, or a new journal all together, for that matter! A blank page – be it a piece of paper or a computer screen – just beckons for something FRESH. Something NEW. Something NOT EXPERIENCED BEFORE. I get giddy of all that possibility. (Confession: I purge my journals, too. Those books are my “safe space”, where I literally bleed on the pages. Not a word is written with an “audience” in mind, not even a spouse or a child. Besides. Who would want to saddle someone with decades worth of THAT crazy stuff?)
Most blogging “experts” advise picking a single topic for your blog so as to show yourself as an “expert” – you know, for building a brand and a following and all that stuff. The only thing I’m an expert at is myself, and even then it’s a crap shoot. And while it’s nice to think others like my writing enough to follow along, I got over the numbers game years ago. I write for the joy. For the release. For the healing. I write because I have to.
And my topics Well, they’re as eclectic as I am: Spirituality, family, cooking, sex, relationships, crafts, politics, the whole Breast Cancer thing. I’ve even played around with some fiction, as well.
You name it, I’ve probably penned at least one
rant post about it.
In this new season of my life, however, with all this TIME I now have, writing has taken on a new significance. A week ago, I went to my first writer’s workshop and have more on the calendar. Imagine, all these decades of writing both personally and professionally and I’ve never had any proper training. I’m a pantser, 95% of the time, and 80% of the time, it turns out pretty good. I keep remembering the people who came out of the woodwork last year to tell me I should write a book. I’m not sure if I’m there yet, but SOMETHING is happening.
I’m starting a whole new LifeStory, so to speak. I’ve been walking through Unchartered Territory, being transformed by a paradigm shift of immense proportions. It’s been more than a year year since I left my desk job. A YEAR! The longest I’ve gone without a place to go to Monday through Friday since I started Kindergarten at age 5! Talk about a WTF realization!
With the diagnosis received in January of 2015, nothing has been Business As Usual. The way I spend my time is fluid and largely unscheduled, except for my ongoing treatments. My social circle has been morphing. How I relate to “activities” and people and events is changing.Even the way I look is completely different, with my little gray post-chemo pixie. Almost everything in my life has changed.
Everything except for the writing.
Tomorrow, my life is about to change again. For the first time since the late 90s when I did a lot of volunteering in church (head of Women’s Ministry, co-head of the Food Pantry, Bible Study leader, Prayer Team leader, Den Mother to a couple dozen 7 and 8 year olds boys in the Royal Rangers program), I’ll be spending scheduled time every week volunteering. Specifically for Habitat For Humanity.
Yep, I got the gig I interviewed for after all! Starting tomorrow, 4 to 5 hours a day on Monday/Wednesday/Fridays, I’ll be the acting Social Media and On Line Marketing administrator for one of the H4H ReStores. For 4 months, I have the opportunity to do what I love doing for a great cause – everything from keeping their half-dozen Social Media outlets updated, to taking photographs and listing items for sale, to writing blogs to inform and inspire others.
THIS is something unlike anything I’ve never done before. A new beginning. A fresh page. And I can’t hardly wait! Who knew that this was the new life promise I’ve been holding onto through surgeries, chemo, radiation, betrayal, job loss, ad naseum?
And who knows what will happen from here? It feels like I’ve stumbled upon my destiny, and can finally (thankyoujesus) put what I know to good use for something bigger than myself – spending my time in meaningful ways, with like-minded people, for something I believe in. It is literally a dream come true, the dream I blogged about years ago. I feel like this is the right thing, at the right time, for all the right reasons – even if I’m not getting paid for it. Yet. (smiling)
And THAT is something to write about.