Yesterday, I had a very interesting experience here in Blogland.
Well, THREE very interesting experiences, actually, and all in a single day. This, in and of itself, was extraordinary. When something happens 3 times in a row, I know to pay extra attention. I know the universe is speaking to me. (side note: I’m an Penta-Aries. Mars is my planet, and I relate very strongly to the Empress Card (The Earth Mother)….if you opted to click on that link).
The fact that this all happened on 9/11 is also of import because 9/11 was a game changer for me. But that story for another time.
Here’s what happened.
Three times yesterday, I stumbled upon posts that were written in direct response to, and inspired by, a comment I made. Imagine that! Little ol’ me saying something interesting enough (or, in one particular case, so misunderstood enough) that an entire post was dedicated to me – as in, I was mentioned in the opening lines! Not once…not twice…but thrice!
Here comes the surreal part. In all three cases, after these gals had been so inspired (or triggered) by something I had written that they spent what was surely a good amount of time framing and crafting their posts, none of them – not a single one – mentioned me by name: Grace, of The Wild Pomegranate.
Nope. These posters spoke around me, using general terms to describe me like, “a commentor” and “one of my readers”.
The first time this happened, I giggled. This blogger had seen a comment I made in reference to Dragonfly – a very potent ally when it comes to personal transformation – on someone else s blog. Thinking about how Dragonfly starts as a lowly, mud crawling nymph who later becomes this beautiful iridescent high flying wonder, my comment was “Dragonfly teaches us that the way we begin is not necessarily the way we will end!“
How fun, I thought!! The fact that she didn’t feel like mentioning specifically who inspired her didn’t seem that important at the time. We’ve never visited each others blogs before, and serendipitously intersected at the same time and same place for a spark of inspiration to ignite. No biggy! (Although I did comment on her post, to let her know I had seen it). Ha! :)
But when it happened not once, but twice again, all in the same day, it gave me pause. In fact, by the third time I wasn’t giggling at all.
In a very real way, reading these three posts felt as if I was attending a cocktail party, chit chatting along, when people started talking about me as if I wasn’t there…all the while I’m standing right next to them/
WTF is that? Am I invisible? Am I not important enough in their estimation to be personally acknowledged? (Something I would do, if for no other reason that being polite. But hey – that’s just me). Did they feel threatened in some way, if they named me by name?
Didn’t they realize that I would be reading, and notice? Or were they hoping I WOULDN’T notice, and just keep moving along?
This morning, I’ve got my Nancy Drew on. I’m on the case, and I’m looking for clues and I’ve found a couple so far – but not enough to draw any conclusions.
One clue (besides the fact that all were female) is this: In each case, the woman considers herself some sort of authority or guide or expert. They’ve publicly declared to the rest of world that they are here to help us in some way: Help us become better people or better writers. They are here to teach us how to be more in touch with ourselves, our soul, and who we really. And they’ve gone to great lengths to describe themselves as such.
This – along with the fact that they didn’t mention me by name (OK, pen name, but I’m blogging anonymously right now and without guilt – as the cute little photo on my side bar declares) – seems very important to me.
Keeping in mind that I am not to take anything personally (one of The Four Agreements, if you’re familiar, by the divine Miguel Ruiz), and yet, the world is always playing Show Me/Show You with all of us, I’m going to keep digging.
So far the only thing I find about myself reflected within this whole deal is that I’m female. I don’t proclaim to be a teacher or an expert in anything except my own journey. And because I get paid to write as part of my professional life, I am particularly sensitive to giving credit where credit is due. If the Editor hadn’t put my name on any of the articles I’ve had published over the years, it would be weird. I know this. Even here, if one were to review my posts over the years, they would notice that not only am I careful to give credit, I regularly promote the work and creative endeavors of others just because I want to. In fact, I love promoting others.
Maybe that’s why I’m in Marketing.
Anyway, this investigation is a long way from being closed. My own moral compass insists that I remain True North – even when it’s uncomfortable. Even if it doesn’t make me the Popular Girl. And even if it means taking a deep, hard, honest look at myself. That’s no longer frightening after all I’ve been through, and after all the work I’ve done these many decades. I’ve been to Hell and back and lived to tell about it. I know who I am, what I’m here for, what I stand for and where I want to go.
But there is always something new to discover – about myself, about life, about others.
And you know what they say – the third times the charm!